There are four “types” of adoption – public, private, independent and international. Each carry varying degrees of differences, some legal and some “cultural," but for gay and lesbian individuals, singles and couples the major consideration is how open you are about your life in the home study process. We are sure you have heard this before, but it stands repeating – “You don’t like living a lie in your life; do not start your family on a lie.”

How open you are about your family structure does of course depend upon the situation at hand and your personal feelings on disclosure. Keep in mind that direct questions may be asked of you that, under your state laws, giving misleading answers or out right lying could be illegal.

At this point, we would like to stress an important detail to all prospective adoptive parents, regardless of their family structure. There is a significant difference between not sharing information about your private life and your family structure, and knowingly misleading or lying at anytime during an adoption process. If confronted directly, answer the question truthfully, direct questions require direct answers. So let’s be very clear here, if you fail to tell the truth, it may be considered fraud, which could result in the failure of an adoption, a disruption or an unapproved home study. An unapproved or denied home study could mean that you would not even be able to seek a new home study from another source. This point applies to all types of adoptions, including International and foster care. For gay and lesbian families, even single individuals, asking upfront if your family structure is going to be an issue is going to be key. You do not want a failed home study because of an individual's or agency's bias.