Hang on; this might be a bumpy ride!

Mon, 08/23/2010 - 17:45 | Frazzled Parenting

I found myself in a conversation the other day with another parent and volunteer here at FLO that made me think about this BLOG and its content. We were talking about the tools, resources and programs we provide to families and professionals. Just what does make FLO different?

We’re you; we are the families that deal with the kids that push your buttons until there are no more buttons to push. We are the families that have had to sit in the adoption classes, grind our way through the home studies, and wait, and wait, and wait for background checks and foster licenses. Not to mention the utter lack of effective communication from the “professionals” in charge of our ability to adopt or foster.
 
We are the families that sit with therapist, councilors and social workers that dispense parenting advice like Pez Dispensers even though many of them have never parented themselves; adoption, foster or bio let alone parented one of our kids. We are the parents that read all the parenting books, and listen to all the “experts” with great hope, in the end realizing it is simply a matter of making it through the day in one piece that counts the most.
 
Sometimes we are referred to as “helicopter” parents, when in reality we are the ground troops that balance the playing field for others that also have to encounter our children.
 
Many of you have attended trainings or speaking engagements where I talk about our process, our kids and our challenges. But there are still many that use FLO that maybe haven’t heard those stories. So during the conversation I was asked “why don’t you write about them”. After all, isn’t part of FLO the sharing of the parenting-adoption-foster experience?
 
So here I am writing this BLOG that I wasn’t so sure I wanted to write, or have time to add one more thing to my already falling over plate. I guess part of my goal is to share with you that here at FLO, we are not just these voices over the phone or text filled pages from people that haven’t been right where you are everyday. Nope. We walk the walk around here. We try things out, we test the strategies, and we challenge the findings, policies, and politics. We’re real. We have a drink or two (or three), we eat tons of chocolate, we make mistakes, but in the end we get up the next day and do it all over again.
 
So my commitment to you is to tell it like it is, even if you don’t like it; even if I don’t like it. I will do my best to keep this BLOG as updated as possible, but please realize that after an 80 hour day (yes I said day) I just might not have anything left to give. Hm, or what I have to give might not be something I should put in print. I also run things around here, so I don’t get to leave my “job” to get away from the work, or leave my family for the job to get a break from them.
 
Oh, I should mention that I am not new to parenting, or to special needs kids and adults. I have had the pleasure of being that warm, loving parent that we all want to be. I have also had the cold reality of being the parent of a kid that doesn’t do so well with the warm, loving, feelings-on-your-sleeve parenting approach. So what I have learned so far in life is simple:
  • When I think I have figured it out, I am wrong
  • Being an effective parent has nothing to do with your kid(s) liking you or not. I am not here to be their pal, but instead to be their parent even on the days I just want to be me and not the parent
  • Oh, and my dog(s) are always right!
So hang on, here we go. I am sure you’ll be hearing from me more.
 
David