International Adoption

For many international adoption has been the adoption of choice. With the U.S. adoption of the HAGUE adoption laws, there has actually been an increase in domestic adoptions and adoptions from the foster system. While there have been, and still are countries that “turn a blind eye,” most countries throughout the world are not willing to place a child(ren) for adoption to an openly gay or lesbian individual or couple. Some countries, including China require signed legal affidavits declaring that the adoptive parent is not homosexual. While other countries limit the number of single parent adoptions in an effort to reduce the amount of gay and lesbian individuals from slipping through the cracks. There are even countries that will not permit adoptions to single men, but may place for adoption to a single woman. In no cases (at this time) are their countries that will knowingly permit an international adoption to a gay or lesbian couple. Couples that choose to go this route often must omit their family structure and pursue a second parent adoption in their home state once the international adoption has taken place. Of course this is only if your home state permits the second parent adoption, not all states provide for second or stepparent adoptions.

Over the years Families Like Ours has heard from many families telling us that they are choosing international to avoid issues and concerns they hear about regarding children from the foster system. This is a myth. The same issues associated with children within the state foster care system, are often found with children adopted internationally. In some cases even more so. Even if adopt-foster is not your adoption choice, attending workshops focused towards the issues of foster children is highly suggested for families adopting internationally.

As always, contact an Adoption Buddy here at Families Like Ours for assistance, mentoring and guidance through your adoption regardless of the route you choose. This is a free, volunteer program.

Pros
• Many professionals that work with foster to adopt (medical, educational and therapeutic) can work with internationally adopted children
• Have a choice as to what country to adopt from and can choose a country with which you feel a connection
• Do not have birth family involvement (some believe this to be a con)

Cons

• Very limited family history available
• Usually at least one trip by one parent to country, sometimes more visits required
• Costly
• Independent International adoption has few safety measures
• Each country has very different guidelines in regards to who can adopt
• Agencies have differing guidelines with regard to who they work with
• Potential for unknown drug and alcohol histories in-utero
• May require not disclosing your family structure, and withholding this information in most cases is not legal
• Incorrect, misleading or no medical history
• Little or no help with attachment disorders
• No adoption subsidy help or contract
• Normally has a longer process and wait time for Home Study, background checks and placement