For many families wishing to have children, adoption becomes a viable option when biological means are not successful, available or the option of choice. This is especially true for Gay and Lesbian individuals. While currently most children with lesbian parents are biologically linked to one of their parents, adoption is becoming an option for them as well. Men, regardless of their sexual orientation have the option of surrogacy, but often the costs and legal atmosphere can become major hurdles. Second Parent adoption or step-parent adoption however plays a key role in a family where one parent is the biological parent and other spouse/partner parent is not. Through their adoption process the Wing-Kovarik's had considered the option of surrogacy, then international and private placement adoption before moving forward with adopting from the foster system.

In most cases all the rules, regulations, guidelines and options are the same regardless of family structure: a legally recognized married or civil union couple, a gay or lesbian couple, and single individuals regardless of sexual orientation may be able to successfully become adoptive and/or foster parents. Race, age, income status, real estate ownership, marital status and sexual orientation should never play a role in the approval or denial of an adoptive or foster care family.

For gay and lesbian individuals the social and political environment plays a significant role in their ability to adopt and foster children. This can also be said of single individuals wishing to adopt or foster. Since state counties or districts generally deal with adoptions there is often little in way of state laws or policies to prevent a social worker or judge from denying a placement through one means or another. Internal “rules” or “culture” can change from one county to another within the same state, not to mention state offices and private placement agencies. However this is slowly changing.

Before we move forward, let us address the number one question that comes into Families Like Ours. Who is allowed to adopt?
In almost all types of adoption, the following list applies:

The person(s) adopting need to be at least of adult age, normally this is set at 21 but can be as young as 18 in some extreme cases

• Have a completed and approved home study, which may include criminal background checks
• Able to provide a stable, safe and positive environment with adequate space for the child(ren). Dual income families are able to adopt; adoption does not require that one parent be a stay-at-home-parent
• Have adequate income to meet the needs of present family members and future children. You do not have to be wealthy to adopt children. Some private agencies however do have income requirements as do some non-US countries

The items normally seen added to the list for a foster care provider and foster-to-adoption may include:

• Clear criminal background
• Pass a health/safety inspection and fire/safety inspection
• Attendance and completion of state required classroom training
• CPR and other Health related training and certification
• Passing a Personal Physical and Health exam

In all types of adoption you will go through a home study process that may include many of the required items above and even some not listed; this list is dependent upon your state and country. Other common items could include three to five letters of recommendation, personal financial statements and additional training for special needs issues.

Families Like Ours actively maintains a current listing of adoption agencies and state information. Please contact an Adoption Buddy for more detail on your state laws, requirements and resources. Families Like Ours also actively Advocates for Adoptive and Foster families, if you would like to be an Adoption Buddy, or assist in local Adoption and Foster Care Advocacy, please contact us directly.