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Currently yes. Once an adoption is finalized regardless of the state the adoptive parents are viewed with the same legal rights and responsibilities of a biological parent. For example, if a male couple jointly adopts in Washington and travels to Florida for a vacation, Florida would still recognize them both as the child(ren)'s legal parent. If you moved to another state that would not permit you to adopt, but you adopted prior to moving to that state, your adoption would (currently) still be legally recognized.

Yes. Once your adoption is finalized you no longer have to check with the social workers. You have the same legal rights and responsibilities as would an biological parent. However, from personal experience we suggest that you always keep a photocopy of your certified adoption decree whenever you travel. This is especially true for male couples. Think of it this way. Better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it. For gay and lesbian families it may be the case to always travel with your adoption paperwork even when traveling within the United States.

Never travel with your original copies, keep those in a safety deposit box at your bank!

In most cases yes. Actually the Wing-Kovarik’s also encountered this situation. They started their adoption in a state which did not allow them both to jointly adopt and did not allow second parent adoption. We suggest that once you’re settled in the new state, or if you know the state you may be moving to, contact an adoption lawyer in that state. In the case of the Wing-Kovarik’s , just before starting their home study they took a job transfer to Washington, which does allow for joint adoption.

If you’re in need of an adoption or foster care professional, contact Families Like Ours by clicking here and we’ll direct you to the type of professional best suited to your needs.

That depends upon the type of adoption. If you’re seeking to become a foster or adopt-foster parent, that normally takes up to 30 - 90 days to complete. A domestic private placement adoption can take 30 - 120 days in most cases, and international typically can take 60 days to a year. The typical barriers that hold up an home study are:

• Background checks
• Families not getting their paperwork in on time
• Family not accomplishing their required education
• Poor communication between the family and professional

Yes you can, however there are some issues to be aware of. If your goal is the adoption a child out of the foster care system, or to become a foster parent you can only do this by working with a private placement agency or state agency. Remember, the private placement agency must be licensed in your state to provide home studies and placements for foster parents and adopt-foster families. It is a good idea to ask this upfront on your first call. In addition, many private placement agencies will not accept home studies written by anyone outside of their own agency. The only time you would use a private home study writer would be in the case of a private adoption with a lawyer and no agency involved; this includes a second parent or step-parent adoption.

If you’re in need of an adoption or foster care professional, contact Families Like Ours by clicking here and we’ll direct you to the type of professional best suited to your needs.

Children that have been placed in the state foster care system and have become available for adoption are only available for interstate adoptions if all state avenues have been exhausted. There are however some situations where it is in the best interest of the child(ren) to be placed outside of the state in which his/her biological family resides. Adoptions outside the resident state of the biological parents are very common in private and independent adoptions.

Just like every adoption, every transition is different. First there will be a supervised visit with the child, the child’s worker and the current foster placement may also be involved. From there you may have one or two visits with the child with the case worker present. After that you may have one or two all day visits without the caseworker, leading up to an over night or weekend visit. By the time you are at the over night or weekend visit the move is imminent. Of course this situation details a transition of a foster child to an adoptive placement. There are however situations where a transition is much faster. If you are a foster home, not adoptive the transition may simply be the worker dropping the child(ren) off and than leaving.

Note that if the child or prospective adoptive family are having difficulty with the placement or transition the plan could change as needed.

Normally, under a good situation a transition will last two - four weeks. A transition can take anywhere from, “here’s Johnny”, to a month depending on when everyone is ready to make the final move. If you feel you need more time in a transition don’t be afraid to say so. Take your signals from the child, they will let you know when they are ready for the move. Transitions that last more than a month can be harmful to the child in some cases. It is important to remember that transitions for all of us can be hard, for these kids sitting in limbo between families can be traumatic if not done correctly.

Note that a foster transition can be as quick as the knock on the front door. With international and birth-parent adoptions transitions can be less than a week. You should be working closely with your placement worker to outline an effective transitional plan that fit’s the need of the child(ren) and your family. Remember, transitions are NOT about what is convenient or comfortable for the professionals involved but what is best for the child(ren) and family.

Kids-fest is a very controversial program that allows potential adoptive parents to meet available children for adoption. Normally they are set up as a carnival of sorts, where the kids play games or have activities and the prospective adoptive parents are there to help the kids with everything; supervised of course. This gives the prospective parents a chance to meet some kids face-to-face, with the hopes of making a connection. Ask your caseworker for more information on these in your area. They are normally a few hours to all day and are far more personal than looking through a book with photos and descriptions.

Opponents of these types of fairs feel that this is putting the kids on display. That it is very demoralizing and doesn’t give the prospective family an accurate view of the child. Both sides have their points and unfortunately until someone comes up with a better idea that actually works, Kids-Fests (they are often called different things in different parts of the country) will continue.

Families Like Ours holds the option that provided the event is hosted in a respectful manner to all those involved they are often a good tool to find adoptive homes for many children. A great deal of the families we assist are able to make connections with children through these events and become adoptive families.

Foster parents provide a safe, supportive and non-judgmental home while the child(ren)’s parents/guardians/families of origin work to resolve issues that have placed the child(ren) in the foster system. These children range in age from newborn to 17, single children to sibling groups. The goal of the foster system is reunification of the child(ren) with their biological family whenever possible.

The majority of families that contact Families Like Ours are interested in adopting a child from the foster care system. This makes you an adopt-foster family. You’ll more often hear this called a Foster-Adopt family. We’re changing that.

Families that have the goal of adoption are just that, an adoptive family. The fact that the child they are in the process of adopting is in the state foster care system adds the “foster” part of the process. But since the goal is adoption, let’s just call it wait it is - Adopt-Foster. Adopt-Foster families do not think of themselves as foster families. As an adoptive family you hold a foster license as apart of your adoption process. Foster families tend to enter the system with the goal of short term care for children, not a life long commitment to adopt a child.

It is however important to remember that nothing is 100 percent until the judge says your adoption has been finalized. As an Adopt-Foster family you enter the system understanding that you may obtain a non-legally free child, that could (or could not) become available for adoption. This is called legal risk. Keep in mind that you are in fact part of the team with the goal of reunification if at all possible, just like a non-adoptive family.

It is better to have your license and not need it, than need it and not have it.

When adopting from the state foster care system, even for legally free children the state prefers families have their foster car licensee. Having your license as part of your adoption means your can be eligible for an adoption subsidy contract and services for the child you’re adopting. It also opens you up to children that are heading towards adoption but many not yet be legally free. Without your license you cannot be placed with a non-legally free child. However, each state has different rules. Your state may require you to have a license regardless, where as another state may not require an adoptive family to have a license.

If you are at all considering a placement from outside of your state, in almost all case you will be asked by the sending state (the state that the child is from) to have a license.

For adoptive families having a foster license can be confusing since their goal is adoption. Think of it as a process or tool for your adoption.

Yes of course you could be placed with an infant. If you are asking if the child will be available for adoption from the start, or will come to you with no “issues”, think again. Infants are not born legally free and available for adoption. There is a legal process that needs to be followed before the child can be adopted. In all cases the first choice is for the family to return to their biological family if that is at all possible. If that is not possible than adoption may become the next choice. We would suggest you talk with one of our Adoption Buddies.

It is impossible to answer this very common question. Normally it takes anywhere from 30 - 90 days to complete the “mechanics” of the process; background checks, classes, home study, etc. Once you have all the paperwork done and an approved home study that’s when a placement can happen. We’ve known families to be placed before the ink is dry on their home study and others that have waiting over a year to be placed. The Wing-Kovarik’s found their selection and placement to move along very quickly, must faster then they first imagined. Other keys that may play into the amount of time you could be waiting are the type of placement, age, number of kids, etc.

If we had a dime for every time this question was asked, we wouldn’t ever have to ask for funding and donations again. No. This is not true.

Children come into care for a wide range of reasons, the number one reason is neglect regardless of the age of the child. There is actually a growing number of studies that indicate that children that enter the system or orphanages under the age of four may suffer a higher rate of traumatic stress disorders. Older children come with their own unique issues that infants and toddlers may not, but all children are effected by the trauma of grief and loss that may be associated with their individual situation. Those issues may not be evident when the child is placed with you but may show themselves over time. The more comfortable the child feels around you, the more likely they are to act out. As strange as that may sound. You’re their safe place to act out and test you to see if you’ll push them away like so many other adults have. See our research and support area for more on the effects of trauma.

But since adoption is a process and not an event, any child will deal with issues when developmentally appropriate. The job of the parent(s) is to be knowledgeable about potential issues to help your child as much as possible.

Note here: Families considering international and birth-parent placement do not lower the risk of adopting a child with developmental, traumatic, attachment, and other issues. Actually in some cases the family is at greater risk for undisclosed issues. Every “issue” that is seen with a child in the foster care system is also found with kids adopted internationally.

Typically the answer will be no. If it is a once-in-a-life-time trip it could be possible for the court to allow for the travel but it is very unlikely. If you’re a foster family, we suggest using your network of respite providers. If you’re a pre-adoptive family just wait until after you finalize.

This depends upon your specific placement situation. Prior to finalizing an adoption you always need permission from the child’s worker to travel outside of your state. Make sure you inform the worker at least two weeks (we suggest four weeks) prior to your trip. As a foster or adopt-foster parent you cannot simply go away for the weekend. Foster families run into this situation often. With enough planning it may be possible. This is a case-by-case, worker-by-work question.

Load time depends on several factors, your connection, the speed of your computer, if you are using a service like a cable modem, DSL, standard modem or American Online®. It also can be slowed by routers being down somewhere in the country or a large amount of Internet traffic. When this happens just wait a while and try again. Unfortunately there is little we can do about this problem outside of our own equipment and portal. We make every attempt however to limit the load time of every page on the server to help with load issues you may have. We would suggest contacting your Internet access provider.

Families Like Ours, Inc.

We cannot do this alone and frankly we shouldn’t be doing this alone. This is your community and we all have a very personal stake in its success. In order to obtain that success we need your help. Families Like Ours, Inc. is always looking for community volunteers. If you would like to lend a hand and help, or have an idea please contact us by clicking here or calling us at 1-877-230-3055.

Yes of course. Our children not live in a world that is only gay and lesbian, or “straight” (for lack of a better word) families; Families Like Ours celebrates the diversity of all non-traditional adoptive families and does not discriminate based on family structure. We expect all our families members to respect the differences in families and welcome all adoptive families and professionals regardless of sexual orientation, identity, age, race, disability, or income status. We have an open challenge to all other agencies, nonprofits, commercial businesses, faiths and governments to take this same view of non-discrimination.

Simply the fact of being an adoptive family creates what is often viewed as a “non-traditional family.” As you can see throughout the Families Like Ours web site, we have information pertaining to issues related to general adoption, specific to gay and lesbian families and single parent adoption families. We do not separate a “non-traditional family” as a family from one group of society, but simply those families that have or wish to have children through adoption.

Families Like Ours, Inc. is a nonprofit organization with funding coming from a variety of resources including community grants, foundations, direct donations and corporate sponsorships. However our main source of funding comes from you, the families and professionals that use the services of Families Like Ours. Every dollar counts. Make your tax deductible donation count today.

The mission of Families Like Ours, Inc. is to make change by breaking down the barriers within the adoption and foster care communities. Therefore, reducing the amount of time our children are waiting for a stable and safe forever family.

Our programs and services are designed to increase adoption awareness and help reduce the number of adoptable children in foster-care by providing a centralized resource for support, information and education to adoptive families and professionals. While our emphases are with gay and lesbian adoptive families, we welcome the diversity of all families regardless of sexual orientation and family structure.

Adoption Exchanges are here to provide families and professionals with local and regional support and advocacy. The main role of all exchange's is to provide family specific recruitment for waiting children, break down placement barriers, educate their local, and regional adoption community, and help families navigate through the adoption and foster care maze.

What our exchange does …

• FLO is the only independent national Adoption Exchange, that means we work with all families and professionals, in all states. Most exchanges are tied to a specific state, county or region, we do not work that way.
• FLO strongly advocates for all pre & post adoptive and foster families and youth, GLBT and non GLBT alike
• FLO was established as a peer-to-peer, volunteer network of families and professionals that share the same goal, which still continues today
• FLO creatively breaks down placement barriers for kids, families and professionals