international adoption

Social Service, Medical and Therapeutic Professionals

Thu, 01/20/2011 - 14:06

First of all,  it is important to note that Love and Logical does not work with these kids. While it is a good program and FLO teaches L&L, it is based on cause and effect. That does not work with AD.

Children with AD need to see a behaviorist that has a solid background, training and practical experience. Unfortunately these kids only learn to maneuver and distort most of the therapeutic models in an individually focused, therapeutic settings. Specially the emotionally focused models only teach the children how to answer so that the parents would get into trouble in the eyes of the therapist.   

The client isn't the child; it is the family. The whole family needs psychoeducation and practical tools to be able to live with the particular case of AD their child presents. This approach provides the family with the tools and support they need to support the child. Practical tools and knowledge what they are dealing with are the primary needs here, the analysis of the cause is secondary at this time. 

In terms of behavior issues, it does not matter that the child was in foster care, is adopted, or has a severe trauma history. When this child is an adult and  still has a tantrum like a three year old toddler, it is not "cute" anymore. One core fear the parent's often have is what will happen to their children when they grow up and they have not managed to learn to control their behavior. The general society is not interested in why Simon or Suzie cannot control their out bursts. This is why these parents need that extra support and education; they cannot guide their kids forever.

Behavior: What it looks like

Thu, 01/20/2011 - 14:02

Parents of a child with AD are often tired, angry, and describe a child much differently than what others see. They can quickly get upset at others who do not see the child as they do at home. They can be defensive and feel inadequate. These families often have a hard time reaching out and can quickly reach a point of wanting to remove the child from their homes.

Okay, now what? Where do we go from here?

Mon, 12/15/2008 - 16:27

The next step is to decide which type of adoption works for your family. This is something that is not set in stone; you can actually choose several directions to pursue at the same time. Some typical types of adoption:

For example, many of the families contacting Families Like Ours choose child placement agencies that can provide them with adoptable placements from the state foster system, but still keep them available for private placement adoptions. If you would like to be open to different types of placements, make sure you discuss that with your agency and find out if that is possible.

A foster care home study is not the same as an adoptive home study, and international or private placement home studies are often different as well.

If adoption of a child in the Washington State foster care system is your choice, Families Like Ours can provide you with your required Adoption/Foster Care P.R.I.D.E. training [upcoming trainings].

What to ask an agency or attorney

Mon, 12/15/2008 - 16:22

Remember, education is your most valuable tool. These are some of the questions that families tend to ask. This is not a complete list, there is never a complete list of what you should know. Use your best judgment and add and take away items as the need fits. Your instincts will actually guide you to the right people to work with more than anything else. Also, remember that Families Like Ours is always here to help.

  • Itemized list of costs
  • Schedule of all parts of process
  • How long placements have been taking in last year or so
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